I agree to stay undercover. What a dumb fuck.
Shawna and I had been seeing a lot of each other. I’d fallen in love with her. She has no idea about me being a cop…or a Crip. She and her little boy Tony, along with my little girls and my folks, are the only things keeping me sane…and that’s hanging by a thread. No one knows what I’m doing. Except my Captain. Biggest mistake of my life.
B.D. takes me for a ride. Won’t tell me where we’re going. Wind up at another house with a bomb shelter. Bigger than ours. Bunch of naked women with surgical masks processing liquid coke into crack. There’s a man walking through, supervising…and grabbing some ass. I recognize him. Well known black preacher and civil rights activist. Just then, some Bloods come in. I pull my gat. Figure they’re after me. They start to pull theirs. The “Reverend” calms the whole thing down. Tells us we’re all part of the BAF-Black African Family. No more Crips or Bloods down there. One group. Leads me and B.D. off upstairs. Tries to feed me this line of shit about how the BAF is there to “…free all people of color from the dominant power structure…”. Wants to know what I think. He laughs when I tell him it sounds like a crock of shit. Tells me I’m right. Says me and B.D. are the only one’s smart enough to figure it out. Wants me, ‘cause I can pass for white, to open the crack operations in the more upscale white areas. Gives me a Bible. It’s hollowed out starting at the 23rd Psalm…”The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…”. Filled with hundred dollar bills. Got to give him credit…he’s got his own style.
B.D. and I are driving back. Quiet. Then he starts asking questions.
“What'd you think?”
“The Rev'rund...all of it.”
“I mean...you buy all that one set shit?”
“You buy it?”
“Used to...now...all them cluckheads somebody's mother...sister... somethin'...if we beatin the system, how come it's still niggers killin' niggers?...that shit ain' right man...niggers killin' niggers, we ain' beatin' shit.”
Like I told you…B.D. was my boi. B. D. stood for Brain Damage. They called him that because of all the Sherm he smoked when he was a youngster coming up. It didn’t wind up fuckin’ with him though. He was one of the smartest, best men I ever knew. God, I miss him.
It was time to check in with the Captain again. I told him all about the meeting with the Rev. How the Rev had told me he had been dicking the middle man. How with my help, he could double-dick him. Showed the Captain the hollowed out Bible with the money. He was pissed. Kept muttering about the double-dicking as he stormed out. God, was I blind.
B.D. picked me up later. Started diving. Heading out toward San Berdoo. Won’t tell me why. We pull up to this nice little house out there in a real nice neighborhood. Go inside. B.D.’s lady and two little girls…just like mine. We hang out for a few hours while he plays with his girls. I watch them while he and his lady go off fro some private time. We wait till dark to leave. Quiet on the ride back. Finally, I’ve got to ask.
“You told everybody she took'em...went back east.”
“What the fuck would you do, you had family huh? You leave'm in the hood? Ain' jus' drive-bys anymo'...they snatchin' people, hold'm fo', ransom...it's fuckin' crazy.”
“Yeah...but lyin' to yo' own set...”
“I known them mothuhfuckers all my life...but they ain' jus' dealin'...they doin' the shit, all of'm...'cept me...an' you...when you got shorties its dif'runt, you gotta be mo' careful... niggers know you be stackin', nobody safe.”
“Why you tellin' me all this shit?”
“I been thinkin'...what if somethin' happens, ya know...who'd take care o'...I gotta trus' somebody...you m'boi, Deuce...shit, you saved my...”
“...mothuhfucker...be the best you ever had.”
If you've ever lived in LA you know how the Santa Ana winds whip up and drive the brush fires...that's what the pain is doing to me right now...driving the fire through me like Santa Anas...gotta stop for the night...take my pills...and maybe some Patron...
- ► 2010 (16)
- ► 2009 (41)