THE LITTLE ANGEL

What is it that makes the Holidays special? When you're a child, it's all about the presents. Santa Claus, reindeer, elves and magic...unable to fall asleep on Christmas Eve, the anticipation more energizing than the sugar rush from all of the goodies. Then, we grow up...and the world, with all of its ugliness, pushes its way in. Work. Money. Worry. Strife. The magic tends to get pushed to the side.

But, if you're lucky, little things happen over the course of your life that bring the magic back. And, like the ornaments that you save from year to year, you take them out every once in a while...you lift them gently, carrying them with as much care as you can. Those memories, you see, are far more delicate and fragile than the finest porcelain. They are made with gossamer wings and fairy dust, and ingredients even finer...hopes and dreams...and love.

Twenty-one years ago today I was at a big box hardware store, my two oldest daughters in tow. It had been a rough year. I was going through my second disability retirement. Money was beyond tight. Cherish had been pregnant with Lacy, our first child together. I had not been much help to her during a good portion of the pregnancy due to health reasons that would take too long to explain here. Needless to say, when she had needed me most, I had been unable to come through for her. She had, however, carried our beautiful baby girl to full term, and delivered her on the tenth of December. Now, as had become our way in life, we were scrambling to try and get things done at the last minute with no money.

Cherish's parents were getting the girls a really nice swing set. My second daughter was really into gymnastics at that time, and had made it clear that she wanted her own balance beam. My oldest daughters and I were at that store so that I could price out the remaining items that I would need to build the balance beam in the backyard. The four by four, cement and brackets had already been purchased, but I knew that I needed screws and nails, as well as a couple of tools that I didn't own. I had just finished pricing those tools, and discovered that there was no way that I could afford to buy even one of them, let alone all that I needed. Frustration, anger and self-loathing were just kicking into high gear when Crystal, my oldest, started to tug on my sleeve.

Crystal is an amazing human being. If you have never had the pleasure of meeting her, your life truly is not complete. Her praises are far too many for me to sing, but the two that come most into play in this story are these: she possesses no guile at all...she always says exactly what she means. And, like a dog with a bone, once she believes in something, and the rightness of it, she never lets go. Truly remarkable, when you consider what she has been through in her life. Anyway...

Crystal was tugging at my sleeve. I turned to find her holding onto a very pretty, very frilly, and obviously not cheap Christmas ornament. It was an Angel...a tree topper Angel. Cherubic face, delicate gown, and a little light held in between her hands. One look told me there was no way we could afford it right now...no way. Not even a remote possibility.

No one had told Crystal that, however. Money means nothing to her. No concept at all. I mean that in a good way. She's not impressed by what others have, or what things cost. With Crystal, it's all about what's right. Keep that in mind.

Daddy?
Yes honey?
We have to get this angel.
Not today honey.
We have to.
Maybe some other time honey.
No. Today.

Her jaw was set in that certain way. I let her lead me to where she had found it. The shelf was bare, except for the box that the angel came in. It was, of course, the only one left. I picked up the box and looked for the price sticker. It was on the bottom: $25. Might as well have said $2500. Way too much money. No way we could afford it. I tried to explain that to Crystal. Useless. Finally, I just took it from her and put it next to the box...took both girls by the hand and started to lead them away. That's when Crystal got me.

Daddy...
Look Sis, I said no...now, let's go.
We have to buy it.
Not today...maybe we'll come back for it.
I said that knowing it was a lie.
We have to buy it today...it's the only one.
Look, sweetie, we can't today, OK? We'll think about it, and maybe...
We have to but it for Lacy. She's our little Angel. God sent her to make up for the one he took.

I had to stop writing for a minute. Crying. That memory is still so strong...so fresh...

I can't tell you why Crystal said that. It's too personal. That is one of the memories that is so fragile that I fear it would crumble in my hands if I ever took it out. But when she said it, I instantly knew that Crystal was right. I lead them back, put the angel in the box, and took it with us to the checkout stand. I told Cherish the story when I got home. We both cried. It went on the top of the tree right then.

The next year started a new tradition. We had always decorated the tree as a family. Now, when we were done, Lacy was hoisted onto my shoulders. It was to be her job to place the Angel on top of the tree. I don't remember how she did that first year. I do remember each year after. We would always tell the story of how we came to have that Angel, and Lacy loved the story. What Lacy was too young to realize was that Crystal had been prescient beyond human ability. You see, Lacy, it turned out, actually was an Angel...

She has made a difference in more people's lives than I can count. Those people know who they are: they know what Lacy means to them, and the changes that she made in them that no one else could. Those stories are precious to each person, and are not mine to share. What  I can tell you is this: The impact that Lacy has had on so many lives is not because of things that she has done. She has had that impact because of who she is. Inside. In her heart. I can tell you this...I believe she added years to my Dad's life. The joy that she brought to him...sorry...can't do it.

We still have that tradition. Every year, that Little Angel is the last thing to go on the tree. Every year, I put Lacy on my shoulders and lift her to the top. She places it, and plugs it in. Its little light shines down on all of the special ornaments, lots of them made by the kids over the years. It shines like a beacon, greeting each person who comes to our home with love, and hope, and dreams...and magic.

I have a feeling that I won't get to put Lacy on my shoulders this year. Not because of the degenerating discs or busted shoulders. The heart attack in January may have made last year my final one for lifting. I hope not. I'm going to lobby to carry her again...but I wont argue too hard and spoil the occasion.

No matter how it goes up there this year, I will relive each year from the past as it is placed and lit. Especially the first year...the year that God sent us our Little Angel, and that Crystal saw her for who she truly was.

Lacy's light shines on all who come into her circle. It touches them with warmth...and hope...and dreams...and love...

And Magic.

I love you, Little Angel

24 YEARS

I was never going to get married again.
Never.
I was going to raise my two little girls.
Alone.
I had no desire to share my life with anyone but them.
If you knew the story of my first marriage, you'd know why.

I had dated models and actresses when I was a bodyguard.
All of them beautiful.
None of them memorable.
Then, one day, everything changed.
It was love at first sight.
For me.
She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
Ever.

That was twenty-five years ago.
She is even more beautiful today than she was then.
Far more beautiful.
The most beautiful woman that God ever made.
And, she loves me.

We've been through a lot over the years.
Lots of highs.
Some lows.
It hasn't always been easy for her.
I've had at least eight of my seventeen surgeries while we've been married.
I had a heart attack earlier this year.
Almost died.
We've been short on money.
Many times.

But, we've never been short on love.
We have great children.
Because of her.
We have a great home.
Because of her.
We have a great life.
Because of her.
We have a wonderful marriage.
Because of her.

Almost everyone said it wouldn't last.
November 12th 2010 will be 24 years.
24 years.
Because of her.

The sun rises for me in the morning when she smiles.
The stars come out at night in her eyes.
She is my life...
my breath...
my everything.

I love you Cherish Ann.

Happy Anniversary.

PROPOSITION 8: RUSH LIMBAUGH, THE FABULOUS BEEKMAN BOYS, THE CONSTITUTION, AND THE MISSING LOVE OF CHRIST

We hold these truths to be self-evident...

Sometimes, I really don't know where to begin. As a Christian, especially as a minister, it seems to get more difficult everyday to try and handle things the right way...especially for a dirt bag like me. Those of you who are regular followers of this blog know of the struggles I face in attempting to represent the Love of Christ towards others. Frankly, I fall short every day...actually, it's more like every second, but, hey...who's counting, right? Anyway, it's something that I would rather not have to make public, especially on a regular basis. But, fortunately or unfortunately, I am a firm believer in the old adage: Silence, when the truth should be spoken, is a lie...so, here we go...

... that all men are created equal...

For those of you not familiar with the issue, you can find it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_California
Basically: In May of 2008, the California Supreme Court ruled that marriage was a fundamental right granted by the Constitution of California, not a privilege; next, Proposition 8 was voted on in that same year to amend the State Constitution to eliminate that right, and finally, in August of this year, a Federal Judge ruled that Proposition 8 was unconstitutional based on equal protection under the law.

Still with me?

Basically, the issue is whether or not the Constitution gives equal protection of the right to marriage to ALL consenting adults. The issue, as it stands as of today, has been ruled in favor of ensuring that right.

 ...That they are endowed by their Creator...

The issue, therefore, is first and foremost, an issue having to do with equal protection under the law, IE, the Constitution. I have been amazed, while perusing the web, at the number of people in favor of Prop 8, and against the Judge's ruling, who have made the basic argument that, "...the judge has usurped the will of the people. The people voted, so it should be law..." I said surprised, not amazed. The fact that a great many people are not aware of what type of government we live under doesn't amaze me. The fact that someone like Rush Limbaugh made the same mistake did amaze me. You can hear his comments here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw-PU5Y1LMo

Whether you like or dislike someone, you should always give them their due. Mr. Limbaugh is an intelligent, articulate advocate for what he espouses. To hear him make the same mistake about our form of government was amazing to me. So, it seems to me that a basic refresher course is in order.

 ...With certain unalienable Rights...

We do NOT live in a democracy, thank God. We live in a Constitution based, Federal Republic, with strong democratic traditions. This is not my opinion; rather, it is how the United States Government refers to itself, which you can find here:https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/us.html
Now, what does that mean? It means that we live in a country where there are rights for the citizens which are not up for a popular vote. That's why they're called rights.

 ...That among these are Life...

You have to give our Founding Fathers some credit. "Endowed by their Creator..." Brilliant writing. If a creator gives the rights, only that creator can take them away...and please, don't get me started on our Founding Fathers being Christians...most of them weren't, at least not the way we define Christian today. If you doubt that, take a look at the Jefferson Bible: http://www.angelfire.com/co/JeffersonBible/

Thomas Jefferson was more responsible for our initial documents than anyone else. He certainly wasn't a Christian like I am. His two main mentors, Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Paine, weren't either. They could all be called Deists, at best. But, their brilliance still shines through. Whether it is Nature as the Creator, or your own personal God, the rights are given...and man has no power to take them away. Period. Quite a built in safeguard. You have to remember that all of these men had lived under the divine right of kings, where the king was not truly answerable to any earthly power. Yes, there was a Parliament in England, but its influence had historically fluctuated. The other monarchies in Europe didn't even have that check on them. Jefferson ET AL settled the issue once and for all.

...Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness...

If then, it is a constitutional issue, it should be sacrosanct. And please, no straw man arguments about: bestiality, necrophilia, polygamy, or pedophilia. I've read them all in due course of this topic. They don't apply.

Now, however, we come to a much thornier discussion. But before we do, I'd like to introduce you to a couple I've gotten to know a little through their TV show: Brent Ridge and Josh Kilmer-Purcell...The Fabulous Beekman Boys. You can find their websites here: http://www.beekman1802.com/ and here:  http://planetgreen.discovery.com/tv/the-fabulous-beekman-boys/the-fabulous-beekman-boys.html
You should take a moment, if you're not familiar with who they are, to read about them. Once you have, we'll continue.

Done? OK, here we go then. Our family stumbled on The Fabulous Beekman Boys a few months ago on TV. The first time I saw the opening, I was reminded of "Green Acres" from when I was a kid. We started watching, as a family, and got hooked. I'm not one who is usually too interested in reality TV, but I liked this show. The main reason? I came to care about the two main characters. Real people. Real hopes. Real dreams. Real struggles. Real disappointments. The operative word here is real. I have married a number of couples in my time as a minister and Josh and Brent remind me of most of them. They bicker, sacrifice, make up, love...all of the things that couples do.

I don't know what their views are on marriage. None of my business. But, if they want to get married, after living together for over ten years , I believe that they have the God given, Constitutionally protected right to do so. Period. Now for those thornier issues...

If you want my basic take on the Christian position on Gay marriage, you can find it here:http://thedumbassspeaking.blogspot.com/2010/04/just-couple-of-old-queens.html

I was going to write about the Good Samaritan again, but instead, I'll let you read the articles what I've written before: Here: http://thedumbassspeaking.blogspot.com/2009/07/kathy-griffin-matthew-shepard.html
and here: http://thedumbassspeaking.blogspot.com/2009/08/for-chesliekathy-griffin-matthew.html

My stand on these issues has already cost me some friends. I'm sure that this new blog will cost me some more. So be it. To all of you who proclaim yourselves to be Christians, like me, let me ask you just a couple of questions.

Do you really think that if Jesus was walking the earth in His ministry today, He would show up at rallies with a sign that reads, "MY DAD HATES FAGS, QUEERS, AND DYKES" ? Do you think that He would stop in the middle of His healing to ask if the person was Gay, Lesbian, or straight? Do you think when He made enough food to feed five thousand men and their families, He would instruct the disciples to make sure they didn't give any to the homosexuals?

I was going to write a lot more, but I'm tired...and the pain is killing me. That heart attack I had seven months ago took a lot of my energy with it...but not my passion. So, one last thing, to those of you who are Christians: If you really want to protest something in Christ's name...start with those abominations on TBN. The ones that prostitute your Savior like He was a cheap whore...just for their own personal aggrandisement and gain. The ones that teach that He was rich...and that you should be too...the ones that teach God is dependent on your actions...the ones that teach that they could have made the same sacrifice on the cross that He made...I could go on, but like I said, I'm tired...if you want to write to me, I'll give you a list...along with the Scriptures that teach that we should stand against them...and why...

For now , try practicing what Jesus actually taught...

Love God the best you can...

And, Love your neighbor as yourself...

THE SAGE

I have lived an interesting life. One of the many things I did when I was younger was to be a "roadie" for a small, local band when I was in high school. They played at Knott's berry Farm, Disneyland, and other local venues. Eventually, they got noticed and were offered a contract by a major label. They were going to go out on tour as one of the opening acts for a hugely successful band. Circumstances prevented me from going with them, but I had many a fine adventure in the time I worked set-up for them.

That world, at least back in the early seventies, was a wild, yet wonderfully terrify place. Being a roadie meant that you were backstage around all of the acts before and after the shows. You saw everything: the drugs, the sex, you name it. Pretty heady stuff for a sixteen to seventeen year old. One of the concerts changed my life, however, in a way that I thought could never be repaired.

It was at that concert that I heard Greg Lake, of Emerson, Lake and Palmer, perform the song,"THE SAGE", for the first time. The music was haunting enough...but the lyrics crashed into my heart with the force of a tsunami:


I carry the dust of a journey


That cannot be shaken away


It lives deep within me


For I breathe it every day






You and I are yesterdays answers


The earth of the past come to flesh


Eroded by times rivers


To the shapes we now possess.






Come share of my breath and my substance


And mingle our streams and our times


In bright infinite moments


Our reasons are lost in our rhymes.

I don't believe in reincarnation: I didn't then, and I never will...but the lyrics still spoke to me...they spoke of a love so timeless, so perfect, that only God Himself could have ordained it and arranged for it to occur. A love that God, as the Master weaver, had taken the countless threads of countless lives over thousands of years...and had woven them so that two people could meet at the exact moment in time for that perfect love to burst into flame. A love so perfectly planned that...all reason would be lost trying to explain it. All hope of escaping its power would vanish...and only by being totally and completely consumed by it...could you ever truly be who and what you were meant to be...

I thought that I had been in love before I heard those words. But, as the music coursed through my veins, I knew that I never had been...and felt the horrible, crushing certainty that I never would. A love like that...well, it couldn't be meant for someone like me...

The years passed. I was raising my two little girls by myself. I dated, but not with a purpose. I knew that I would never marry again. I had made up my mind that if I couldn't have a love like the one described in this song, I would rather have nothing...

And then I met her...

The very first time I saw her I knew that she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. When I looked in her eyes, it was as if I had looked in them before...a million times over a sea of infinity...the touch of her hand was as familiar as it was exciting...the taste of her lips as comforting as it was intoxicating...

We have been married for almost a quarter of a century now, my beautiful Cherish and I...in some ways that first glance seems like yesterday...in others, a billion lifetimes ago...

Our streams will always run together...now, and throughout eternity...and for that, I will be eternally grateful

I love you, Cherish...

HEROES FOR MY SON...WHO ARE YOUR HEROES?

http://www.headlinenewsmakers.com/?key=4ecebc8dc00d519bf98acf149cc490e6


I have always been a reader. My parents joked that they never saw me without something to read in my hands: A volume of the encyclopedia, the dictionary, a novel, a comic book...even the cereal box when I was eating was fodder to my appetite. I read the way a starving man eats when presented with a Las Vegas buffet. I was voracious...and I ate everything.

I have gotten pickier as I have gotten older. The old classics long since consumed numerous times, I have searched over the years for contemporary writers who can hold my interest. Sadly, there have been few. That is why I have gone to predominately non-fiction reading over the3 course of my adult life. But...when I do find an author that I truly enjoy, I await their newest tome like a four year old anticipates Christmas morning.

Some of my favorite writers are, in no particular order: Stephen King, Lee Child (the Reacher books are a guilty pleasure), Preston & Child's Pendergast series, and Michael Connolly's Bosch series. These are works that I devour insatiably as soon as they become available.

There is another author who I discovered a few years ago whose work I truly enjoy: Brad Meltzer. His ability to weave thrilling, yet plausible stories, keeps me on the edge of my seat as I read...a not to easy task any more with my jaded palette. He has just written a new, non-fiction book:
HEROES FOR MY SON.
You can find out more about it here:
http://www.bradmeltzer.com/

I've already pre-ordered my copy, and I await it with great anticipation.

Brad Meltzer is a man of many talents...and passions. His charitable foundation, ORDINARY PEOPLE CHANGE THE WORLD http://www.ordinarypeoplechangetheworld.com/ reaches out to help others in a unique way...by empowering anyone who wants to be a part of positive change to be able to do it with only $1. Most charities almost make you feel bad if you can't contribute large amounts. Not Brad's. $1 can change the world...which means that he is teaching, through his charity, that one person can change the world. This is a philosophy that I have always believed: that is always the actions of one person that begins great change. That belief has led me to view, as heroes, many people that the world would overlook.

My greatest hero growing up was my Dad. I never thought that anyone could ever replace him atop the pinnacle of my hero worship...but I was wrong. First, my wife Cherish (who happens to be my number one hero), then my children, have all surpassed my Dad...which I know he would be happy about.

It's not just about having heroes...it's about making sure that they know that they're your hero. I made sure that my dad knew. I've tried, especially since my heart attack, to make certain that my wife and children know what heroes they are to me. I'm also trying to make sure that other people in my life, ordinary people, know what heroes they are...and can be.

If you follow this link:
http://www.headlinenewsmakers.com/?key=4ecebc8dc00d519bf98acf149cc490e6
you'll see a unique way to let people know that they are your hero. Go to the site. Watch the video about Cherish. Spend a few minutes thinking about who you want to tell that they are a hero to you...then make your own video and let them know.

Many thanks to Brad Meltzer, for this unique tool and opportunity to reach out to those we love and admire. Take the time to let someone know what they have meant to you. It'll make their day...and yours. Change the world...one person at a time...starting with yourself.

Make a difference.

Make a change.

And, if you want a great book for Fathers day, or just for someone you really love, make sure to buy
HEROES FOR MY SON.

You'll be glad you did.

LOST: THE BOOK OF JOB and the ULTIMATE GAME

I don't think that this is what the writers of LOST are doing with the story. This is just what the storyline on LOST reminds me of at the moment. With that in mind, let's move on...

If you haven't read the Book of Job in the Bible, you should. Very powerful and informative stuff. Not very empowering to the Church in today's world...at least not the Churches that make God your personal genie and claim that you determine your own destiny. Not even very good for those who claim to have chosen Christ rather than the other way around. Too bad. It's always been a big help to me.

So...what is the main theme running throughout Job? Let's look at the story.

First we're told that Job is a really good guy. He's so good, in fact, that he prays for other people just in case they may have screwed up. He's rich, powerful, fears God, shuns evil, and probably helps little old ladies cross the street. Couldn't be any better of a guy.

The Sons of God, whoever they are (and yes, I think I do, but that's for another time) show up to hang out with God up in Heaven. Satan is with them. This means it's after his fall as Lucifer. He still has access to God as our accuser. God asks him the equivalent of, "What's up?" Satan's response?
"Oh, you know...hangin'...chillin'...checkin' stuff out down on the Earth."

God's reply is very informative in many ways. He asks Satan if he's checked out Job. Then, God brags on Job. Says there is, "...none like him in all the earth."

Wow. Can you imagine God saying that about you? I can't. Maybe the other way...like, hey, look at Chris...you ever seen such a screw-up in all your days? Job, unlike yours truly, was obviously high on God's list.

Satan gets chippy back with God...says, sure...who wouldn't do good and be cool with all that stuff you've given him. Take his stuff away, and he'll curse you to your face. God tells Satan to knock himself out...take it all...just don't touch Job. And...off Satan goes. He takes all of Job's stuff. Kills all of his kids. Really screws him over. Know what Job says? "I didn't have nothing when I got here...sure ain't taken nothing with me when I go...God gave it to me, He can take it back...it's all His. Thanks for lettin' me have it for awhile."

This is powerful stuff. Have you ever thought, or heard from somebody else, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" Job was a good guy. Why did that happen to him? Well, who brought his name up? It wasn't Satan...it was God. Let's look at what happened next.

Some time goes by. We aren't told how much. The Sons of God and Satan are back up hangin' out with God. God asks Satan again, "Where you been?"
Satan tells him again..."hangin', checkin', chillin'...

Now God brings Job up AGAIN. "He's still my boi, and even though I let you screw with him for no reason, he still stands strong."

Satan's reply? "You let me take his stuff...but a man would sell his own soul for his life and health...let me screw with him that way and he'll curse you to your face." God says OK, but you can't kill him.

So...who brought Job into all of this both times? God did. This whole thing is a bet between God and Satan...and God is betting on Job!

Satan screws with Job really bad now. Boils from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. His wife tells him to curse God so he can die. He tells her to shut up..."...you want the good stuff from God? Then you gotta take the bad too." Didn't do anything wrong. Better man than me. Can't say much for his wife, though. I'll take mine any day.

This is where Satan does his best work. First he has the wife screw with him. Now his three best friends show up. And, how do they comfort Job? By telling him that he must have a secret sin in his life, or God wouldn't be doing this to him. Nice.

A little story from me now. Some of you know I have a degenerative neuropathy. The pain is so bad, it feels like someone injected all of my veins with gasoline and then set them on fire. Most of the time I can block out the pain well enough, but sometimes...anyway, a few years ago, I was hanging with this other Pastor. Nice enough guy. I had told him all about my past. Pretty much everything. Not a pretty picture, but I have no delusions of grandeur. So...one day the nerve damage hits like it's never hit before. I call him and ask for prayer. The pain goes on non-stop for two days. I start going through a check list in my mind of anything in my life that's changed recently. Well, I had just started taking an "energy boosting" vitamin pack. One of the ingredients is the worst thing to take if you have my neuropathy. I stopped taking the supplements, and the pain went back down to its normal hell.

Two days later, this Pastor calls me. Says he knows why my pain is soooo bad. You see, God spoke to him. That's right...God spoke to him. Directly. Personally. God told him that my pain was punishment for secret sins in my life. If I just confessed my secret sins to him (the pastor, not God), then my pain would go away. I asked when when God told him all of this; he said the night before. He asked if he could come over. Sure. Please do. Apparently, neither God nor this Pastor knew the pain had been caused by the vitamin pack and had been gone for three days.

I let him go through his whole routine when he came over. It was filled with how much he loved me, how long he had fasted for me, how God spoke to him...you get the idea. I let him talk. God had told him just how urgent it was for me to confess these secret hidden sins to him. You can imagine his surprise when I told him about the vitamins and being back to normal for three days. I told him I didn't know which God he'd been talking to...but it wasn't my God. Mine didn't make mistakes like that. He left...very embarrassed and trying to act like he hadn't said what he said...oh, and by the way...please don't tell any of the congregation about this. Please?

You see...this Pastor was getting ready to try and pull some financial shenanigans at his church. He suspected that I might know. He wanted to have dirt on me to use in case I tried to out him. I didn't care to out him. Not worth my time. And anybody who knows me, and thinks I have secret, worse sins than I cop to, isn't very bright. The ones I own are bad enough, thank you very much.

Am I comparing myself to Job? God forbid. Job was a righteous man. God said so Himself. Me? Not so much. However, we all go through tests and trials. What we need to remember is this...

God is betting on you. He loves you. He wants you to win. It isn't about how you look doing it. This life isn't a sprint. It's a combination marathon/obstacle course/gauntlet. Tough stuff. Doesn't matter what order you finish in. Just finish. And...God has already promised that you will finish. Keep your head up. You'll make it. Just don't quit.

At the end of Job's story, God gives him ten times more than he had before (same nagging wife, though...I'm sure glad I've got you Cherish) and tells Job's friends that He won't even listen to their prayers anymore because of how bad they spoke about Him. They have to beg Job to pray for them. The real kicker: It never says that God ever told Job why he put him through all of that shit. Never tells Job it was all a bet.

Now, back to LOST. Which character reminds me of Job?

John Locke. The true believer. The only thing he does wrong is finally ask why? Just like Job. Only mistake Job made was asking God why. Once God started to answer, Job changed his mind. Too late. Once God starts talking, He doesn't like being interrupted. You ask...He just might answer.

Last night's episode had the "Flocke Monster say that John Locke was a sucker for believing that the island brought him there for a reason. Maybe he was right. We all feel like suckers sometimes when we try and do things God's way. But...

If the Flocke Monster represents Satan, or evil...then you know that he lies...all of the time. I think he was lying about John Locke. I think Satan can't stand it when we believe...especially when we cling desperately in the face of all reasons not to. That's what Locke did in the show. He was killed for it. But...

I don't think that the island is done with the real John Locke yet. I think he is still the key to the ending of Lost. I believe that some how, some way, he's going to come back. It will be his return that ultimately defeats the Flocke Monster. His faith...


I know it's hard to remember when you're eyeball deep in shit that that is what it takes to make the flowers grow. But...it's much harder to remember, when you're standing in that beautiful field of flowers later...that you wouldn't be there...if you hadn't been eyeball deep in shit before.

Just as God uses our faith in Him to defeat our enemy. So, hang in there. Finish the race. God's cheering for you...and so am I.

JUST A COUPLE OF OLD QUEENS

http://www.bilerico.com/2010/04/sonoma_county_ca_separates_elderly_gay_couple_and.php

You know, I always start out with the best of intentions when I sit down to write. I have a plan...something I want to do. Sometimes it's on one of my screenplays...sometimes it's on one of my other projects...sometimes it's a blog. I always have a plan. But...the best laid plans of mice and men...

My good friend Patti posted the above link the other day on Facebook. If you haven't read it yet, please do. It's about the tragic consequences to an older gay couple because of their inability to get married. If, after reading it, you're not heartbroken...don't read any more of this blog...because the heartbreak of their circumstance, and my outrage at it, is what this blog is about.

The old men in the above photo at least are together...something that was denied to the couple when they were forcibly separated and put into two separate nursing homes...one of the men against his will. If you're married, or if you've ever loved someone, I want you to imagine...

Imagine not being allowed to see your spouse after they've suffered a life threatening injury...never seeing them again in the final three months of their life.

Imagine not being allowed to have a say in their medical care.

I imagine having the home that the two of you have shared for over twenty years taken away from you.

Imagine having all of your possessions sold without your consent...all but one scrap book...the one your lover spent the last few months of their life putting together for you.

Imagine no last look...

Imagine no last words...

Imagine no last touch...

Imagine no last kiss...

Imagine no last embrace...

Imagine the pain...the heartache...

Imagine.

This is a tragedy that didn't need to happen. And yet, tragedies like this happen all the time to Gay and Lesbian couples. They've been happening to them for far too long...and there's no end in sight.

Now, you might think it's odd for me, a straight Christian minister, to be such a strong advocate for Gay/Lesbian rights. Let me explain to you why I am.

First, you should read these two blogs I wrote a while back:

http://thedumbassspeaking.blogspot.com/2009/07/kathy-griffin-matthew-shepard.html

http://thedumbassspeaking.blogspot.com/2009/08/for-chesliekathy-griffin-matthew.html

Hopefully, they answered some of your questions on my position. The Scriptural one is beyond question to anyone who reads their Bible. "They'll know that you are my Disciples because you love one another." And, of course, "...Love God with all that you are, and love your neighbor as yourself." The parable of the Good Samaritan that I quote in those blogs doesn't leave Christians any wriggle room about how to treat others. There is, however, another Biblical aspect that is overlooked:

Following the laws of your country.

Which brings me to this:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that ALL men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are, Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.

You know, most of the men who worked on the Declaration weren't even Christians, at least not in a strictly Scriptural sense. If you doubt that, I challenge you to read Thomas Jefferson's Bible and see how much he cut out. Most of them were Deists, at best. The people who helped formulate the thought of the day, like Thomas Paine, were atheists...and yet they had the sense to word that document very carefully.

If your Creator endows you with the rights...only He can take them away. They're not up to a vote. No change in government, no king or queen, no whim of public opinion can alter them. Also, the original wording was "inalienable", not unalienable. So? Read the following definitions of the two words:


"Unalienable: incapable of being alienated, that is, sold and transferred." Black's Law Dictionary, Sixth Edition, page 1523:

You can not surrender, sell or transfer unalienable rights, they are a gift from the creator to the individual and can not under any circumstances be surrendered or taken. All individuals have unalienable rights.

Inalienable rights: Rights which are not capable of being surrendered or transferred without the consent of the one possessing such rights. Morrison v. State, Mo. App., 252 S.W.2d 97, 101.

You can surrender, sell or transfer inalienable rights if you consent either actually or constructively. Inalienable rights are not inherent in man and can be alienated by government. Persons have inalienable rights. Most state constitutions recognize only inalienable rights.

You see, you can give up inalienable rights, if you choose to. Not so with unalienable. They're permanent. All men...that means men and women.

The one thing I've always had against our founding Fathers was their cowardice. Yes, they stood up to the mightiest nation on earth at that time. But, you know who they wouldn't stand up to? Their own neighbors...friends...peers. That's why Washington, Jefferson and others didn't free their own slaves while they were alive. They put clauses in their wills, but...who could say anything to them then? We're still paying for that cowardice, in the civil rights issues of today.

Still, you might ask yourself why the whole marriage thing is so important to me. Do you know what miscegenation is? here's a link for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscegenation

Did you know that miscegenation laws weren't overturned by the US Supreme court until 1967? How about the fact that it took many of the remaining southern states years to comply? Alabama was the last hold out. They finally ratified it in 2000. That's right...2000.

I am mixed race. Part Native American. My wife's and my marriage would have been illegal in many states just 43 years ago. Some of you know me. I try to be a good Christian. But, can you imagine what I would do if some bureaucracy tried to separate my wife and I? Tried to keep me from her when she was ill or injured? I just had a heart attack a couple of months ago. What if she hadn't been allowed to be there for me because of my mixed race? That could have been the case not that long ago.

I followed up on the story of the two tragic men on a number of other sites. One of them had comments. That's where the , "just a couple of old queens" comes from. That was some alleged christian's remark about why it was no big deal. After all, it only happened to a couple of old queens. Those fags get what they deserve.

As a Christian, I'm tired of hearing that from those who say they represent my Savior. Sick and tired of it. I can't stop them...but, I can try and make sure that their voices aren't the only ones that are heard purporting to be voices of Christian thought.

So, from today on, my wife and I would like to be thought of as just a couple of old queens. Not really fair to her, mind you. She is, after all, very young...and very beautiful. But she wears the title proudly...as do I.

I would rather be a couple of old queens...than what I see passing itself off as Christianity most of the time.

I hope the Gay/Lesbian community doesn't mind. I know they'll love my wife...I'm a little harder to accept. But I try...

COURSE CORRECTION

I cut my finger yesterday. No big deal, except that the meds that I have to take for my stent make me bleed like a stuck pig. I have to bandage the finger up with a few bandages each time to keep the blood from soaking through. That makes the finger rather cumbersome...and my typing, which is not the best in the world to begin with, has suffered tremendously. I keep hitting extra keys, and bleeding on the keyboard. Some of the spellings are quite unique to say the least. So, Patti, if you thought my misspelling of sunshine was bad, you should see this stuff. This won't be the blog I originally planned. Something shorter will have to do.

I had planned on writing either about why Jesus wept, or about imaginary time/Schrodinger's Cat/and the philosophy of quantum mechanics. Not today. Let's just do...

What if?

Two word combination, but very powerful. We all do it...all the time. Usually, we do it over missed opportunities...missed chances. It's quite often replaced with, "if only". We're quite certain that if God, or whatever it is that you personally believe in, had only done things better for us, we wouldn't be in the terrible place we find ourselves in.

I prefer to look at it a different way.

What if I hadn't gotten crippled on the job as a Deputy Sheriff ?

It's a simple one, but it serves my point well. I can assure you, when I went through that whole experience, I didn't think that God was looking out for me. I didn't think He was looking out for me over the next few years, as the nerve damage grew worse. I didn't think that He was looking out for me when they found the tumor on the nerve, and thought they were going to take my leg.

I asked a lot of what ifs back then.

But...if all of that hadn't happened...

I wouldn't have met my beautiful wife. I believe that meeting, and marrying her, was God's first, best destiny for me. It could have been reached in a far better, much easier journey. You see, I had driven my life so far off course that I wasn't going to meet her. I wasn't going to get to marry the woman of my dreams. I had really screwed up the direction that God had wanted my life to go. Thankfully, for whatever reason, He loves me. He loves me enough to cripple me to get me back on course...back to the only love that could ever have saved me. Cherish's love.

It's what He wanted for me all along. I just made Him work a thousand times harder to get me there than was necessary.

Now, am I saying that all of the bad things that happen in people's lives are their fault? God forbid. I do know, however, that some of our worst problems are of our own making. Mine in particular. That's why I had the heart attack. Course correction again. I wasn't appreciating Cherish...my children...and all of the other wonderful things in my life enough. So, God let me have another Chance.

When I was laying on the bathroom floor, struggling to find the strength to crawl and get my phone to call 911...I wasn't thinking about being injured on the job. I wasn't thinking about all of the terrible things that I thought had happened in my life. I was thinking about Cherish...and about my children. I was thinking about how blessed I had been...and about how I had taken those blessings for granted. I was thinking, however...if only...

If only God gives me another chance...

I'll make sure I tell my wife everyday that she is God's most beautiful and wonderful creation. I'll make sure my children know how special and precious they are to me...and how ferociously proud of each one of them I am. I'll make certain that every single day that I have left... I SHOW my wife what she means to me...not just spout empty words.

It was their faces that gave me the strength to crawl to my phone. It was their love that kept me going.

Now I don't say, What if? Or, If only...

I say...don't let me forget...don't let me forget.

And, I'm grateful for all of the things in my life that led me to where I am...even the bad ones.

And, I thank God every day for course correcting my life so many times.

The SUN and the MOON

My beautiful wife, Cherish, is leaving tomorrow. She's going down to Southern California to visit our daughter Lacy, her sister Carey, and some of her old friends. She's only going to be gone until Sunday, but...

I'm going to miss her. Terribly. I've always known that my old friend Dennis was a better man than me: how he can stay apart from his lovely wife for so long, even in defence of our country, is beyond me. If I were separated from Cherish for that long, I'm certain I'd go mad.

So, I'm going to spend all day with her today. This is all I'm going to write.

The sun is the most important light in our sky. Without it, we would die. We depend on it for warmth, for food, for energy, for even the wind. We need the sun...and the light it shines upon us.

The moon is a lie. People always talk about moon light, but there is no such thing. The moon gives no light...it only reflects the light of the sun. In fact, the sun is so powerful, it fools people into thinking that the moon gives us light.

The moon, in reality, is a dead, obscure, scarred, lifeless body...floating in the eternal darkness of space. If not for the sun, the moon would drift away...into the blackness...forgotten forever.

Cherish is the Sun.

I am the moon.

Come back to me soon, my love...

I would die without you.