Monday, December 22, 2008

TWO DOGS PART 9

Don't know how much I can write today...pain is killing me...

Shawna thinks I’m crazy, but she backs me. I don’t sleep much that night. I know the first day is going to be the hardest.

Start the next morning with phones and stores. I’ve got five pay phones inside of the module. The do stores right outside the door of twenty-three hundred today. I start them on the phones. Five at a time. Five minutes each. King and Tatupu run the phones. Folger runs the guys out to the store. Smooth for the first couple of hours. Then we have our first test. King calls time on the phones. One guy won’t get off. Big ass Samoan. King tries again. Guy shrugs him off. Tatupu comes over. Rips the phone off of the wall and beats the dude with it. Drags him down the row. Five minutes later, the beaten Samoan is on his knees in front of my booth.

“I won' evuh mess up on the phone again...evuh...may I please go to Doctor?...I fell outta my bunk.”

“ He one clumsy muthuh fuckuh, deputy.”

Tatupu smiles when he says it. He’s proven they’ll police themselves to get their privileges. This is a scene that repeats itself numerous times over the next couple of months. I had power on the street. Because of what I could do. This…fuck. If I let these motherfuckers know I want someone fucked up…or dead, they’ll do it. No questions. I should be appalled…but I’m not. I like it. I like it a lot. That’s the one thing Shawna never understood about me. She never saw my black dog…didn’t want to believe it was there. I loved her for that.

Things run smooth for a while. The inmates aren’t fucking with me. Hell, they bring me extra info just to stay on my good side. They know I won’t rat them out. The other Deputies don’t know what to make of me, but what the fuck do I care? Nobody was jumping ship to bail my ass out when the captain fucked me…and everybody knew he was, just not why. It’s not like I was Mr. popularity before anyway. This is about survival…and I’ve got major trust issues.

Folger has taken me under his wing. We go in the dayroom alone for one hour every day. He can tell my leg is fucked up, something about my chi being off. He’s teaching me how to protect myself. Shit you wouldn’t believe. Not departmentally approved shit, mind you, but quick. Lethal. We’re in on one of our sessions. School’s in. The master speaks.

“You gotta understand where they comin' from...what they hooked on...the ultimate narcotic is power... the ultimate power is life and death...on the outs, each one of'm respected... feared...in here, they jus' a face in the crowd again...tha's a hell'f a Jones to kick.”

“I know.”

“Leg's gettin' worse, ain't it? Tha's why I been teachin' you all this...nothin' fancy...you in the shit, you gotta finish it quick...with whatever's available.”

He gets up. Walks over to another table. There are games on it: dominoes, checkers, a deck of cards, a Scrabble game. My cigarettes and matches are on the table too. And my lunch; a sandwich and an orange. Billy Joe picks up the book of matches. Quickly rolls it into a tight tube. Shows it to me. He points first to his temple, then to his eye, then to his windpipe. In a silent blur, he lunges at the table. The match book is buried almost to the hilt in the orange. Next, he picks up a card from the deck. Shows it to me. He points at his throat, then his eyes. Another silent blur, this time the hand holding the card cuts through the air like a scythe. The orange wobbles a little, but otherwise looks no different.

“You been in here four and a half years, Billie Joe...you're bound to be a little rusty.”

Billy Joe reaches over and picks up the orange. He holds it out for me to see. Squeezes it firmly between his thumb and index finger. The orange is cut is so deep, the pressure of his thumb and index finger causes it to gape open like a mouth. I’ve never seen anything like that. Before or since.

“I can't afford to get rusty, Deputy Norris. Neither can you.”

That's enough for now...Patron and pills time...

8 comments:

abaddon911 said...

Part 9 was great!
It is interesting that Norris likes the fact that Shawna does not see or perhaps acknowledge his dark side - the black dog - and it makes me wonder why he likes that? I would imagine that it must be nice to have SOMEONE in your life that does not look at you either as a monster or a potential monster so I can see that view.
There is also the possibility that she is the one person that may be able to charm (never completely control or restrain but charm) the black dog. If that is the case he must have conflicting feelings about that.
the text reads: "That's one thing Shawna never understood about me. She never saw my black dog...didn't want to believe it was there. I loved her for that"
there is a difference between not understanding it and not wanting to believe it.
Maybe that is what he likes, not the fact that she is ignorant of his black dog but that she REFUSES to have her attention paid to it.
Maybe everyone in his life has always been in two categories: People that see him for who he is and fear him / think he is a monster and...
those he hides himself from and they think they know this charming, nice guy but only know a small fragment of who he is.
Is it possible that he loves Shawna because she sees both sides, truly knows that it is there, thus knowing the real Norris and loves him anyway even if she pretends not see or chooses not to acknowledge the black dog. This may be one of the few times HE feels authentic love FROM another because how can you love that which you do not know?
It may be none of these and I realize it's not really important I just get a question in my head and have to play it out... don't mind me :)

abaddon911 said...

I read Part 9 again...
I wonder how Norris feels about the training he is getting from Folger.
What I mean is, does he feel even more powerful and feel the high of his ability to take life growing stronger?
Also, I can't help but think of a philosophical question at this point...
Norris admits that he knows he should not like the power he is accumulating which means that he certainly knows that taking the lives he has - and enjoying it - is wrong. That being said he does not seem to feel bad about it, he does not seem to have remorse. He may - but we have seen no evidence of it.
That as the foundation: my question is - - - Does it matter that he "knows" that it is wrong if he feels no guilt? Should he be considered evil or be villainized if he is not capable of feeling the pang of doing something wrong?
Fear and guilt prevent most people from doing "bad" things. If those are gone does that mean the person is a monster?
Is knowing right from wrong enough - if knowing has no effect one way or the other?

Christopher Blake said...

Perhaps she sees...and chooses not to see as well...we tend to turn a blind eye to those we love...

Christopher Blake said...

Revelation 3: 14-22...

abaddon911 said...

Regarding the Revelation passage -
Surely you must know that the passage you are referring to has to do with hot and cold rivers there - each having beneficial purposes. The passage in no way promotes extremes.
(and if you or anyone believed that, I have some terrific ocean front property in Arizona ;)

Christopher Blake said...

Sorry for taking so long to respond...I was at our beach condo...on the Rez...in New Mexico...same amount of sand and surf as Arizona, but a lot fewer of those pesky billaganno tourists...

I was actually referring to the, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock..." more than anything; in that Christ still seeks out communion with us even when, by our own actions, we have shut Him out...However...

Yes, I do hold to the "extremist" interpretation of the passage...and I'll try to be brief as to why...

The Greek words used for cold and hot in the passage are:
psuchros and
zestos...

Psuchros means to be cold to the point of being inert or immovable, ie frozen or freezing...

Zestos means to be boiled or boiling...

To be frozen or boiled is not something I would find refreshing...or soothing...

Contrary to most of the popular teaching of today, Laodecia doesn't mean the people's voice, opinion, democracy, etc...it is a contraction of laos>people...and Thiekia> judgement, or vengeance...so, people of the judgement, or the judge people...

Laodecia was at that time the richest banking center, wool manufacturer for clothing, and medical center in the region, specializing in eye salves...the Lord uses this, and the Church's obvious belief that because they have these things materially, they have them spiritually as well, to condemn them...

I can not think of more extreme contrasts than...think you are rich>but you are destitute...
Think you are well dressed> but you are naked
think you can see>but you are blind...

I have no problem with people who hold to the "beneficial" waters analogy...but the Seminary Profs and pastors I have discussed this passage with over the last 36 years have all admited, albeit grudgingly, that psuchros and zestos would not have been used by anyone fluent in Koine Greek to describe the people in a beneficial way analogous to the waters above Laodecia...and I think it strips the power of the passage away...

The Bible is a book of extremes...and extreme people...David is the only person we are ever told is a man after God's own heart...and yet...he is either standing up to Goliath with a sling(and bringing one extra rock for each of Goliath's brothers)...or, he's committing adultery, and then having the husband(who's too loyal to David to sleep with his own wife on leave) murdered to cover his sin...

The vast majority of the "Heroes of faith" wouldn't even be allowed into most churches today, let alone be leaders...

Does that mean I believe that God wants us to be "cold"? God forbid...but no one, doing what David did, thinks they are doing God's will...but, you can go to church fifty times a week...tithe...be on every committee...and still be less than useless in His service...and kid yourself that you're a "...fine instrument for God's work..."

Hope we can agree to disagree...

abaddon911 said...

I agree to agree! My comment was a febble attempt at a joke. It wouldn't be the first time a joke of mine fell flat.
I have mostly heard the "waters for beneficial purposes" argument but it never rang true with me. After I sought out the Greek text and its translation, I came to find that it is just as you say. Your view sheds even more light on the subject. Thank you!

Christopher Blake said...

It's so very gratifying to find someone who researches things for themself...who questions...not to cause disputes, but to build up and edify themself...and others...what an encouragement...

Followers

About Me

My photo
Christopher Blake is a loving husband...devoted father...minister...crippled ex-cop...screenwriter...novelist...actor...and more than a little rough around the edges...